How to be a good partner
By Bob Simpson and David de Daas
They say a partnership is like a marriage. But it’s much worse than that. It’s like an ARRANGED marriage, only more arbitrary. So what do you do when you’ve been randomly assigned to a new best buddy who may or may not be a vegetarian? Here are a few tips:
When your partner throws out a dumb idea, say, “That’s dumb” but then laugh like you were only joking. Then pretend to write it down.
When you go to reception to get a free chocolate bar for yourself, always grab one for your partner.
When your partner drops his pen, kick it as far away as you can. He needs the exercise.
When your partner texts you saying he’s going to be fifteen minutes late for work, always pretend to care.
When your partner isn’t getting along with another coworker, try to develop distaste for that person as well.
When your shoes stink so bad that your partner can smell them even while you’re wearing them, buy new shoes.
Discuss how to answer the traffic manager’s “How’s the workload?” query before she asks to make sure you get your stories straight.
When someone comes by looking for your partner, never say he’s taking a poop unless it’s true.
When your partner tells you how late he stayed up drawing comps, always yawn to let him know you’re tired too.
When a cute coworker stops by to give your partner a back rub, hold off on conversations about his wife and children.
When presenting internally, don’t describe ideas as “mine” or “his” unless there’s a particular reason you need to appear smarter at that point in time.
When you’re presenting to client and your partner has been doing most of the talking, only repeat exactly what your partner just said if it seemed to go over well.
Never describe your partner’s drawings as “rudimentary” in front of the client.
When your partner shows up wearing the same Adidas tracksuit as you, whoever’s birthday comes next has to either put on something else or play out the rest of the game as “skins.”
When it’s your partner’s birthday, organize a birthday lunch. And attend that lunch.
When your partner is stressed and under the gun, delicately explain to anyone who approaches to “STAY THE F*** OUT OF HIS F***IN’ CUBE!”
Try to suggest at least one idea involving chicks in bikinis every day.
And never take off on vacation after agreeing to co-author an opinion piece.
Those are my our tips on being a good partner. Have you got any others? Let's hear 'em.
Posted on August 10, 2010 by Bob Simpson (CW) and David Dee Has (AD), associate creative directors with Rethink Communications in Vancouver, Canada.